Drowning In A Sea of Robots

Here I am again, Universe, contemplating fate and existence. Heavy, heavy, but there's no problem with the gravitational pull of the Earth. Gravity of the literal sense goes on like it always has. But when I get to talking figuratively, boy, oh boy, I'll tell you what. Ain't it a helluva thing. I would say I'm sick of people, but I'm not. I'm just sick of socializing with the wrong people.... And robots. Double for the damn robots. Destroy all robots! Besides, There are some people I look forward to seeing every day. I get the blues when they're not around. And Great God In Heaven, I am going to miss My Angel, but maybe it's for the best that our lives take separate paths being togetherness is just not possible. So it's not all people. Just some of them, even myself sometimes. Ah and you can never really get away from yourself. Humans do have wonderful traits such as empathy, kindness, and morality. But the thing is, we have not completely left the jungle behind. We'd like to believe that our less than noble aspects came from outside of us, from some demon or devil, but the truth that we don't want to face is that evil is inherently human. The difference between our higher reasoning and our basic instincts is that we use the former to control the latter. The things that are hardwired into us are based on survival rather than goodness and morality. There is a battle within. Sometimes, good wins, and sometimes, it does not triumph. Lesser evil allows their instincts to rule them. Greater evil uses higher intellect for sadistic purposes. And the good? They triumph over this human animal within, though we all sometimes fail. The devil did not make you do it. It was you. It was all you, and you don't want to face that fact. So we credit all the goodness to God and blame Satan on all evil. In that, we sidestep all responsibility. We are the legacy of the jungle, the most advanced apes the earth has ever seen. We have overcome much, but we still have a long way to go. And if we want a good, just, and moral world, we need to build it ourselves. Look around you and tell me God exists. I honestly wish I could believe. I would love to see again in Heaven all these wonderful souls I have known and lost. How beautiful would that reunion be. I can imagine Ozzy Osbourne leading the angels in a heavenly song, no more tears in Heaven. I wish I could believe in all of this, but I just can't. Forgive me for only believing in what I can see. Look around you and tell me God exists. No. Sadly, He does not. John Lennon sang to imagine there was no Heaven, but I can't even imagine there being a heaven in the first place. The only thing I can genuinely hope for is oblivion, a state of (not) being that I have symbolized with the beautiful goddess, Oblivia. Oblivia forgives. Oblivia saves. No more tears in oblivion. Her loving embrace makes everything right, makes everything okay. No more pain in oblivion. She might well be the only angel that ever existed. It is more likely than not that there are fewer years ahead of me than behind. This does not depress me. It is a relief. Obliva awaits. Universe, I am so tired. Existence is exhausting. And I have to wonder sometimes just why I keep going. Maybe for my grown kids, I guess. They sure act like I'm gonna be around forever. They really need to get their shit together so I don't worry about them so much. They're a mess, and so am I. The human condition, or at least the condition of this particular human, sometimes seems to me like a total train wreck. It can be a total kick in the caboose. Though I'm still rockin', reeling, and chugging on down the line, and (Beats the hell out of me why), I still seem to be on track. Just a regular Casey Jones. All aboard? Green River, Doom, Fateful Destination, and points south. It ain't exactly the Wabash Cannonball. It's the 9:30 to Yuma, and it doesn't exactly stop here. This isn't a train robbery, It's a science experiment! Great Scott, Marty! She blinded me with science! Virtual this, Virtual that. AI this, and AI that. Things are rarely what they seem. There are eight billion real human beings on this planet. So why does it seem that realness and humanity are getting so damn difficult to find? And does everything really need to involve the internet? I don't wanna sound old, but back in my day, Sonny, we didn't need such things. And you know? I think we were a bit more connected and a lot less lonely. It's crazy. I may be a bit of a fool in some ways, but I'm not stupid. I know without a doubt when a beautiful young lady initiates an online conversation with me that it has to be some sort of scam. I could take bets on how long before money gets mentioned. Jokes on them. I may be rich in experience, company, and good conversation on my better days. Not so much when it comes to money. I live paycheck to paycheck. My only investments involve keeping the lights on, food in the fridge, and a way of going. I have what I need materially, but that's about it. I'm not exactly sitting on a goldmine here. Looking to me for money is like going to the moon for a fresh breath of air. It's not gonna happen. Still, I'm curious. Is it a robot or some poor dude in a sweatshop? Inquiring minds want to know. Call it entertainment on a budget. As for romance of any kind, it should never touch the internet. Nobody's real unless I meet them in the real world. A random picture and a few lines of text just doesn't cut it with me. And of all the souls I have ever met in this life, there is really only one I have any real interest in. And since that's not happening, I really have no interest in anybody else. My angel or nobody at all. That's just the way it is. I just can't fall for an ordinary hottie. She's gotta have soul. A consequence of wisdom is this hunger for realness, for substance, for depth. Pretty faces abound. Beautiful souls are so much harder to find. Tougher still to find one on your own wavelength, especially when your frequency has always been a bit out of band. People are strange. It's not uncommon. Finding your own particular brand of strangeness? Now that's rare. And let's say you do find someone for whom your every perception shouts. "Soulmate!" It doesn't mean a damn thing if they don't feel the same way about you. We can't just drop people into our dreams and expect them to fill some role conjured up in our loneliness roasted minds. It wouldn't be fair or right. And when you really love someone, you want what is best for them, not for yourself. Love them and let go, but their coming back is just a fever dream. My Angel, my Cherie Amour. How I wish that I were yours. Yes, I am referring to the song by Stevie Wonder. It sums up my feelings quite precisely and concisely. The very vision of a dream. Courage, intelligence, and a beautiful soul to go along with it. The more one learns the deeper and more difficult to hide the feelings become. And it becomes so damn painful not to speak what is in my heart. Bummer, dude. Gobi Desert. Outer Mongolia. Or maybe it's the planet Mars by now. I know I should just stop feeling this way. Why long for the impossible? When it comes to love, I am one doomed space cadet. I have never loved half-heartedly. When I fall, I fall all the way. But this is real life, not a movie, not a fairytale. Is there really such thing as happily ever after? Is there such a thing as fate beyond and besides death? I wonder as I wander. I could beg the fates to spare me, but what would be the point? Hearts rarely get time to heal. Minds rarely get time to understand. Sadly, it would seem that a traumatic past is not an automatic pass to avoid the harshness of life. The world still demands of us the very same. A thousand problems, a thousand excuses, even good ones, they'll never be enough. That crucible never gets cold until we do. It's cruel. It's insensitive to our needs. But maybe that's the very kickstart we need to keep going and not wither away from hopelessness or surrender to the pain. There were points in my life where I would have wasted away if I didn't still have a job to do. When others are depending on you, it makes you more able to kick your own rear end into moving again. How did I make it through? Because I had to. Sometimes, the choice is as simple as to live or to die, to continue to be or to never be again. There are no half measures. The heart that is in it will continue beating. The heart that is not shall stop. In for a penny, in for a pound. Yadda Yadda Yoda. Do or do not. There is no try. Live or die. There is A. There is B. There is no C. Rarely will you ever find a choice so clear, a decision point so stark, a digital gate featuring either one or zero. One is life. Zero is death. The switch is in your hands, and so is the choice. So why not live? Why not choose life? The grim reaper will someday steal that choice away from all of us, so why not live today? It seems like a win-win to me. Oblivia in all her splendor, beauty, and glory can wait. She is very patient. She understands. Why not choose life? Forever shall still be eternity when her time comes round at last. Until then, live again. Okay.... Clean cup move down. Mad watch! Mad watch! Who made him mad when it's time to be glad? Oh well, two days slow. How about a subject change with a side of fries? Hurry up on da weenie boigah line! Why do ya think dey call dis fast food? Get ta woik! Well, that scammer finally tried to start scamming as I knew they would. After all, who would genuinely seek out the great Cosmic Wie? Only the wise ones, I guess. I don't care. Not my angel. And I seek nobody else. Ah, love. Ah, amore'. When da moon hit your eye like a big a pizza pie, that a hurt a like a beach! You know? Making friends online used to be awesome. Once upon a time, there were more people than damned robots, more seeking genuine friendship and fewer bastard scammers. MySpace was something else, you know? I made some cool random friends back then. Those who had awesome taste in music or had customized their page with some of the most bodacious graphics I had ever seen. One comment and then friends for 15 years. It's not possible these days. There is too much noise. There are too many scammers. It's pretty damned sad if you ask me. The real people are still there, but they're drowning in a sea of robots. Like I've said from time to time, I would have thought the robot apocalypse would have included lasers and blinking lights. Nope... No ranting about the humanoids. No calls for destruction. No Bender Bending Rodriguez to be found. No R2-D2. No Cylons. No Freakazoids to be winding up. No B1 battle droids. Roger Roger! Real robots don't walk around saying DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY! or Hasta La Vista, Baby. No.... The most common robotic phrase is "Hi, how are you?" I am so sick of the nonsense, so sick of the games. And do you know something? Even the illusion is not what I want. Maybe that's what makes me immune. This may sound like the rantings of a madman, but I think human aura and energy are a real thing. Often, socializing just drains my batteries. Having to carry on a conversation can be a monumental undertaking... Except for a very few people, I know where conversations energize me and always seem to cheer me up. These people are like power stations. And they are a gift to the world. They are certainly a gift to my life. I am lucky to call them my friends. I honestly hope that I do the same for them or that I at least contribute in some way. But as for the robots, I'm ready to be the next John Connor and lead the human resistance. SKYNET must be stopped. They might not be destroying the real world, but they've sure done a number on the internet. One big number two, if you ask me. It's a shame. I honestly miss the old days. I miss real people and real connections. I miss random websites and animated gifs. I miss people pouring their passions into various renditions of HTML. It was the most beautiful thing. We've lost something, my friends. It is a forgotten land of wondrous enchantment. It was freedom. I fear that it was a unique moment in history that will never come again. I wish I could go back and make the most of that time. I wish I could go back and make the most of my life. Ah, but I can't. The sad thing is that we rarely learn that lesson before it's too late. And no matter what they say, there will always come a day when it's just too late. It is inevitable. Lawnmower Man is in your head now, Jake. There is no escape. Which one of God's lessons help us to remember best, Jobe? Confess your sins, holy man, for they grow anxious for you at your final destination. It's too late, much too late. There is no rewind, not even pause. Time has no mercy. It takes and takes away all that was ever important, all that was ever meaningful. Time and the grim reaper go hand in bony hand. They are devils in league, in conspiracy. They steal everything of any real value, leaving us with only ourselves and our possessions. You do not have to wait for death to be in hell. Some of us are already there. Who needs devils and demons to punish them when we are so much better at punishing ourselves? Damn these are such grim and heavy thoughts. You know, there is also a lot of beauty in the world. Though I sometimes think I might have been better off having never seen it. Life is a prison. The mind is a prison. If you were the warden, would you build your prison of stone or of unbreakable glass? Which would be worse, opaque or see-through walls? Is it a greater punishment to actually be able to clearly see what you could never reach, what you can never touch? It might matter more than you think because all too often, the warden, the guard, and the prisoner are all the same person. Though, ladies, gentlemen, friends, Romans, robots, and strangers, if I do indeed hold the figurative key then it beats the hell outta me just where the hell or what the hell it is. In that old robot saying, it does not compute. Error, Will Robinson, Error! Cosmic Wie OS has reached a critical conclusion and can not continue. Ground Control to Cosmic Wie. Can you here us, Cosmic Wie? Rocket Powered Roller Skates not responding, over? Hello? Don't you just hate it when the universe around you wavers? Spacial perception like a still pond when the pebble hits the water. Rippling, Rippling, Rippling? Maybe those Matrix dudes need to check all my cables to be sure they're all still properly connected to my brain. I think maybe what I need is a reboot and some rest. This world is just too fuzzy wuzzy today. It's like I've stepped into FOX28 in 1995. Tomorrow may exist. Hope may well live there. But, as for today, I am done... Totally finished. Kool-aid doesn't even have to sing.