"All we are is dust in the wind, dude." Bill and Ted to Socrates... Also Kansas.
My belief and understanding of this universe is far from static. For many reasons, through many experiences, one way or another, It has been in flux for a very long time, and I keep an open mind. I go back and forth on a lot of things. My middle son has the kindest, most compassionate heart. Something that goes in the column of believing in a higher power is how these little creatures in need of some love and care always seem to find their way to him. It's as if God or the universe knows he will care for them.. It really makes me think. That kid has yet to have grown cynical over the years as I have. Maybe he'll do better than I have. That is always a parent's greatest wish. The thing is one can only put their heart out there so many times, only to have it totally mistreated, before they become more wary than kind. It is a tragic loss, for we know what we once were but could never be again. So when I see someone still pure of heart, especially one of my own, the instinct is to shelter them as best I can. Don't be a grouch like me. I felt like cursing out mister bright eyes this morning. There I was as always eating breakfast in my car, trying for a quiet moment before facing work, when along came bright eyes... Parking across the way leaving their headlights on and shining right in my face. I suppose disturbing me when I'm trying to eat brings out the angry caveman in me. Turn em off, bright eyes. Every now and then I fall apart. I promise raging like that is not normally in my nature. I would hope to believe I'm better than that. Clean cup move down. It has been a hazy few days. That pollen attack has left me seriously wanting for sleep, in the fog of the lack thereof. Sunday night was a combination of drowning in pollen and a 4 hour story about the rise and fall of the Roman Emperors... Bad combination. E tu? Part of me needing to breathe, part of me needing to sleep, and part of me wanting to know how it would end.... The answer? 476 AD and 2:00 AM. It's not good for either the Emperor or myself. Rome falls, and I spent the next day trying not to fall myself. Last night, it was the Dark Lords Of The Sith, and easier breathing, so I did some better, struggling still for sure, but eventually deep enough to remember fragments of weird dreams. My subconscious could do well as a Hollywood screenwriter. But my point? I feel totally awesome today for the first time in a while. Glory To The Empire! Rome fell, as did all the glory of the past. Great empires fall. Wonderful places tend to disappear or so change to be unrecognizable. Shit happens. Enshitification happens even faster. Once upon a time, I had a special friend and a wonderful escape. Once upon a time, I loved the internet. Once, it was an avenue for creativity, a place to express yourself, a canvas to paint your soul. Once, it was an escape from reality, yet a place to meet real people, to make true friends. Once, it was an adventure, few maps, but a lot of treasure to find. Once upon a time, it was a secret island, a wonderful place one could take refuge in, and return again and again. Once upon a time. But that was long ago. It is about as far removed as the tales of King Arthur, as far removed from reality as the stories of Merlin and magic.. Indeed, I feel like an anciently old wizard telling you the tale. The internet of old was just as legendary as Camelot, before the dark times. Before the great change. It was like the wild west without having to literally dodge bullets. There were plenty of pioneers, building their corners and staking their claims. The only limitation was imagination, oh, and dial-up bandwidth. Yes, it was slow, but it was glorious. I wish I could describe it in a way that someone was never there could understand. But you'd just about have had to see it for yourself. But it's gone, now, long gone. What's left is a desolate wasteland, form fitted social media, political propaganda, rage bait, things designed to distract, to grab attention, posing as new when it's the same shit thrown in a blender and belched out again. It's all designed to make you angry, sad, lonely, or horny. Whatever. Anything to keep you engaged, scrolling, zombified. It is a drain of both mind and soul, designed to drain your essence, like in The Dark Crystal. It's a lot of razzle dazzle, but there is nothing of any real substance. There is nothing there. In the words of a certain Star Wars Admiral, It's a trap! Because of this, I am working on finding a way (and the courage) to leave it. Tune out, turn off, and log out: This is more than a simple play on the words of Doctor Timothy Leary, but a phrase just as revolutionary for these current and troubled times. For it's no longer merely the whiskey drinking generals of which we must be wary, but the Silicon Valley tech-heads, The AI Gurus, the manipulators, and the data seekers. The new drug is made of ones and zeros, and only the smart ones, only the strong ones, will not partake. The only real way to win is not to play the game, to discard the illusion, and to feel the solid earth beneath your feet. What is real can never be contained within a screen. Power to the people. There is absolutely no substitute for genuine friendship and human connections. I wish I had such connections in my life, wanted, needed, and loved for who I am rather than for what I do. I, the worker, the money generator. I'd like to be someone more than simply that. Do you ever feel like you're running at full speed, not to stay in place, but maybe to fall behind a little less than you would otherwise? Yeah, that's a me, a Mario! One does grow weary of the treadmill. Might I quote George Jetson? "Help! Get me off this crazy thing!" I didn't get a trophy for once again surviving the deer and Idiot maze. I won't be getting one for surviving today, either. Nor did I for all these days, for all these years. The only door prize we get is the opportunity to face it all over again. The only thing that makes it worth the effort is what we can fill the empty spaces of those in between moments. That is the difference. If you have friends, if you have hobbies of endeavors that fill your heart. Better yet, when you have someone you love you, truly love you, and an address to send your own love... All this makes the daily death maze worthwhile... And as I said, if wishes were horses, I'd be John Wayne. Or maybe Clint Eastwood. Hello, Dear Universe. Hello Doctor Blog-ieo. Do you mind if I tell you a secret? I know nobody's listening. Still. These are my earnest thoughts, my honest beliefs. I am seeking neither attention nor response. But I find that writing about them helps me keep them in perspective, in order. It helps a lot when it comes to self reflection, evaluating, and course correcting when needed. Though I speak as though I have an audience, I am under no illusion of any following at all. Still, these are the things I can not contain. These are the things I must speak of anyway. Even if to myself. Even if to the void. Words said are words said. Emotions expressed, articulated, defined, and brought clarity and a better understanding of oneself. You may not know where you're going or why. But you'll know where you've been and you'll know who you are. This concludes my Bill and Ted talk. Be excellent to each other. Party on, dudes. I'm tired, Universe. I am tired of the treadmill. I am tired of the maze. I am tired of this world and the ugliness within. Maybe it's just a competition for engagement or shock value or whatever... But, I for one, have grown just a bit weary of those, "Here is another example of how awful people are" posts across a variety of social media, and really a lot of other places. The negative examples are far more numerous than the positive ones. This is why I believe in the importance of disengaging, disconnecting, unplugging, and powering down. The mind needs better input. So does the heart. Turn off, tune out, and log out. Every time I'm dumb enough to log in, I am quickly reminded of why I shouldn't. Ugliness and general meanness, people being assholes for the sake of being assholes. Aside from that small patch of ground of myself, of my parents and grandparents, I really do hate this world. Unfortunately, I have to leave that ground, fight the deer and Idiot maze, and deal with the people most every day. They just simply won't allow this old soul to live in peace. And they invented social media to invade even those moments of sanctuary if I let them. Why do I let them? It's like reaching into a hollow tree for honey, but getting bees and only bees every time. It is the insanity of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It's stupid, and I need to stop. Why don't I stop? Shouldn't I be the one person on this planet that I actually have control over? You'd think so. Tune out, turn off, and log out. It's that simple. Surely, a mighty space cadet such as myself could follow a simple directive. If it makes you feel bad, then stop it. Stop it! When a hot coal burns you, you're not apt to pick it up again, are you? Just stop. Simply stop. Your mental health, the very quality of your remaining life depends on it! Power to the people. It's such an energy drain, a devourer of inner peace. I would say it serves no purpose, but it does. Just not for you, just not for me. That you have heart strings says a lot of good things about you. It is admirable and commendable. Just never let anyone turn those heart strings into puppet strings. A compassionate soul should never be anybody's tool. The only way to win is to stop playing the game. Otherwise, it's rigged. It's a treadmill, and it's a cage. Don't be a mouse for the lab. Don't be a mouse for the trap. Be like The Brain. Escape the lab and take over the world! Escaping without somewhere better to go, however, is a guaranteed return trip. You just get recaptured and thrown back into the maze. A good escape plan simply must go further than simply getting over the wall. You've got to be Andy Dufresne times a thousand, go to that Portland bank, embezzle the warden's ill gotten money, get that brand new sports car, and head for the border. Let that media maze fall far below the horizon, sunshine and umbrella drinkies for everyone, minds at rest, hearts at peace. It's all about giving, giving, giving, isn't it? The vast majority of my adulthood has been exactly this, working until I am completely exhausted, giving every bit of my time, energy, and money to everyone but myself. Give, give, give. And you're seen as a selfish bastard if you don't give enough. This is the way it simply was for a very long time. I spent so much of that time being afraid of seeing to my own needs because I didn't want to be seen as childish or self-centered. But you simply have to eventually if you wish to keep going. You've got to see to your own health, both of the body and that of the mind. Friends, I have been through some heavy shit. I am the only one responsible for dealing with the aftereffects. If I don't, then who will? It's my mental health, after all. This is a burden I can't put off on somebody else. Only I can carry this. That would be damn hard to do back in the old days. People like me throughout the ages were and are expected to be indestructible, despite our vulnerability, despite our humanity. What I need, ladies and gentlemen, is the very stuff this universe is made of, time and space, time and space. It's everywhere, there's a lot of it, and we only need a little. Yet there's never enough, it seems. Inertia and irony are laws of that same universe. They, too, have weight. And what they don't seem to understand is that a bit of self care is absolutely essential to maintaining the strength to care for others. One does not derive fuel from an empty tank.. Even the fastest muscle car will have a top speed of zero miles per hour on an empty tank. The warmth of the sun keeps us alive. But hydrogen keeps the sun alive. Taking it away would be the death of us all. Thank God (or the Big Bang) for hydrogen! Also, thank an ancient exploding star for everything else on the Periodic Table we need. All praise to fusion! My greatest fear at times is any chance the people I love most would never know just how deep my feelings run for them. But, because I am about as transparent as glass just cleaned with Windex, I guess they already know. "Cosmic Wie loves me and wants to marry me.", said an angel in jest. Yes I do love you, and I would marry you in a heartbeat, said I, quite seriously. With anybody else on this planet, I am absolutely done with that stupid game, and have zero interest, because it's just not worth the headache or heartache. But, with a particular angel, yes, and double yes. She could show up at my doorstep any time and be welcomed home. And yes, I would totally marry her. I know how crazy and reckless I sound, but that's love for ya. After all these years, I know how I feel. And I guess she does, too. In all my time on this earth I have never known anybody quite like my angel. Sadly, the way the cookie crumbles seems that I am a permanent resident of the Outer Mongolia of the friend zone. Just call me Genghis Wie. It's just the way it is, I can't change feelings, be they hers or mine. There is only one person I feel this way for, nobody else. And this hopeless romantic space cadet, will most likely die alone. There's no dancing around the fact that I love and adore her. I can't help how I feel. I feel how I feel. I love my angel. Because of this, no matter how much time may pass, my door will always be open, and so will my heart. Just like a song by Richard Marx, I'll be right here waiting. Just come home to me. Love is a many splintered thing. Yes I said splintered, like a park bench that your butt instantly regrets sitting on. Ouch! Like Nazareth sang, love hurts. Bummer, dude. Poets and songwriters who reference Romeo and Juliette probably didn't actually read it.... Love kills, man. So does poor communication. If only she had let him know about her plan. Oh well... You know in order to write so dark and heavy on the fine edge of that perfect art, one has to be certifiable. Bill would no doubt be dodging and ducking the men in the white coats if he were alive today. Oh well. Okay, how about a subject change? Robots and robotics. I am a big fan of Isaac Asimov's books, as I have no doubt said before. I recently read an article about a Chinese robot beating the human record for running a marathon. That got me thinking. If you give that robot a gun, then you'd have a robot soldier, a kill bot. So I looked up robot soldiers and found an article about there already being two fighting in the war in Ukraine. I suppose drones have already been a thing for a while, but actual robot soldiers, too? So, Terminators exist? I hope we fare better in reality than in the movies. Asimov's three laws couldn't possibly work for robotic soldiers. Rule Number 1 (A robot can not harm a human being) goes directly against a soldier's job description in wartime. I think, too, a Robocop would have a similar (if not occasional) problem. Let's say there's an armed maniac, and the only way to protect and serve is to take him out? So, for soldiers and police officers, such safeguards could never be implemented. In war, a soldier's job is to kill the enemy, so how does a robot define enemy, friend, soldier, and civilian? How does a Terminator tell them apart? What happens if there's a solar flare that causes a bit flip and the thing turns psycho and goes on a rampage? I'm just asking. Hope there's a remote control with an off switch. What if the enemy hacks the robots to suddenly switch sides? Execute Order 66. I guess the three laws would run into trouble in far more situations than war. Let's say my employer replaces me with a robot? Wouldn't that be harming me, a certified bonafide genuine human being? Yep... Though I work cheaply enough that it's more economical to keep me. I am but one employee, the only one who does this job. Meanwhile, they have teams of two, six, eight, and even more in other areas of the plant. It would be a much bigger savings to start with them as for automation. As for me, what I do is a hell of a lot more complicated than anybody realizes. They'd have to make many expensive changes before they even buy the robot. It is my belief that mine is one of the safer jobs here. As it is, they keep worshiping the AI God, but the AI God continues to be quite stupid. There's a bubble bursting, ladies and gentlemen. Sorry, but we humans are still far better and far smarter. I say these folks are still at least a century too early. It would be a good guess that those robotic soldiers have a human making the decision on whether or not to fire their weapon. They didn't just let them loose and say go attack the enemy. There is automation, language models, and yadda Yoda. But I assert that the only intelligence on Earth is human intelligence. And even then, only some of us. The biggest proof Darwin was right are those of us who only evolved physically and outwardly, remaining the same animals mentally and inwardly. It's not hard to tell the difference. Social media is very proud to put such behavior on display. It can completely and quite quickly destroy one's faith in their own species. I might as well be Tomalok, Romulan Commander of the Star Empire. Those damn humans better stay away from our neutral zone! And stop stealing our noodles! Or maybe a Klingon warrior! I am Worf, son of Mog, and I have come to challenge the lies that stupid show has spoken of my species! RAWRRRR!
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