It's actually March 15th as I type these words, so Happy Caesar Salad Day! Pizza Pizza. E Tu Brute. E Pluribus Unum. Yadda Yadda Yoda. Hmmmm! Gibberish, this is!
I've been going to a certain store most every day for better than 20 years now. I kinda made the owner mad this morning. I was already going to be barely making it to work, yet the dude was lollygagging with the customer in front of me. No big deal, but that damned card machine, the only one in this town I ever have problems with, started with its bullshit again this morning, so I kinda roughly swiped my card the second time, at which the owner shouted, "Hey! This machine cost $1800!" To which I replied, "Well, it should work better if it cost you that much!" I then grabbed my stuff and left. Was I the asshole? Probably, yes. But so what? I am an easy customer most of the time, and I was a steady customer, too. Since I quit the vapes, I have less reason to stop there anyway, and what's left can be obtained elsewhere. Not that it'll bankrupt him having one less loyal customer, but it's the principle of the matter. Now, the ghost of my mother's lectures that are embedded in my brain tells me that I was the one in the wrong and I should put myself in his shoes. Yes, Momma, you're right, of course. Still, he can go bite a butt. I can get ice at the grocery store. I can get my snacks either there or on Amazon. They say customers are assholes, and most dare not admit it to themselves. As for me, I admit to having been a petty grouchy jerk this morning. But that ain't going to stop me from going elsewhere for what I need from now on. Right? Wrong? I am the one who gets to decide where my money goes. At least when it comes to lunches and gasoline, anyway. I guess I really am getting old. Next, I'll be yelling for those whipper snappers to get off my lawn. If I were an employee, I'd be glad to get rid of an annoying customer. But he was the owner, so maybe losing the steady loyalty of a mostly polite (save for this morning) customer might mean something. Either way, I don't care. I've been paying some high prices just for the convenience of it being on my way home. However, a combination of already having bought it at the grocery store with buying online where I already pay for Prime anyway is even more convenient. Maybe a little more cost effective too. Like I said, 2023 is all about kicking some bad habits. In for a penny, in for a pound. I might as well make it count. Okay. It's time to talk about less grouchy things. Maybe shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings? Of course, the carpenter was not pissed off because of the fate of those poor oysters. He was pissed because the walrus didn't share. He built that entire seafood place from driftwood in 5 seconds for nothing. Your darned tootin, he was pissed off. Okay, okay, okay. Maybe this lil clean cup move down ain't yielding the results I hoped for. The thing is, I've made plans to run by a couple of places and purchase everything I need for my lunch tomorrow.
(The Next Day) My plan worked out pretty damned good if I say so. And, I definitely say so. First of all, Drinks. That store was charging 2 for 4 dollars for my 20-ounce soda. By saving my bottles and refilling them from 2 liter bottles from the grocery store, I am paying less than 2 dollars for 3 20-ounce drinks. Same name brand, but way cheaper. The pizza slices I was buying were just shy of 3 dollars. For less than 10 dollars, I purchased a pack of patties with some hamburger buns. This covers both breakfast and lunch for a full week. It looks like, along with having quit the dreadful vape, I stand to hold onto a good deal of my money. Since my job barely pays worth a damn, this is a definite good thing. Also, I had a bit more time this morning by skipping the store, and that's a reduction of stress. So far, it seems like a win-win. Meanwhile, I seem to be slowly getting back into my old hobbies. I've spent my evenings this week editing HTML files in order to have an offline copy of some of my favorite old fan fiction. The project I am working on particularly is one I abandoned about 5 years ago. What was it they said about works of art never being completed, only abandoned? I guess it goes for my own eccentric creations as well. Too bad there is nobody I know of on this random wavelength to share this with. As Zombie Duke Nukem Wannabe from "Isle Of The Dead" says, Bummer, Dude! There's you a DOS game to look up. Another character in that game looks like my ex-wife dressed as a soccer mom. No joke. My kids were the ones who pointed that out to me. jokingly saying, "Look, there's momma!" Ah, but I'm getting way off topic, aren't I? In her defense, my ex didn't look like a zombie. (At least not back then) She merely acted like one in certain situations. Ability and personality wise, imagine Zapp Brannigan but with the opposite gender. Except I don't remember Zapp ever successfully wooing Leela, neither do remember him dumping Leela to go live in the dumpster with Zoidberg. But, whatever, dude. A little side-note: If I were Phillip J. Fry, I wouldn't spend all that time chasing Leela. One mean rejection would have gotten rid of me. I would instead be going for the rich and beautiful Amy Wong. Out of my way, Kiff! Heck, I'd gladly move to Mars if I had to. But now it seems I have gotten so far off topic that I seem to be lost in space. One more side note, not only is Amy awesome at winning prizes in the claw game, notably the keys to the Planet Express ship, but she's cute as hell when she gets frustrated and starts cursing in Chinese. Beautiful, rich, brave, and great at video games. What more could you want, Fry? Dude, the girl of your dreams is right in front of you! You can't go wrong with Amy Wong. Okay. Where was I? Right. Lost in space. Actually, Futurama is a much better show with far cooler robots. I wish "All My Circuits" was a real soap opera. I wouldn't miss an episode.
Did I ever say why I love Futurama so much, besides it just being a great show? It was Marsha that got me started watching the show. She used to record 6 hours at a time on VHS tapes and send them to me in the mail. She was always thinking of me in those little ways. She really cared for me, you know? I feel the same, and that's what has made this past year so difficult. Anyway, the show reminds me of my baby sister. Those episodes about Fry's brother, his mother, that time when Leela in her comatose dream kept dreaming about Fry being alive when he was dead. They hit so much harder than before. There have been several of my own dreams where Marsha was alive and well. The same is true for my mother. It sucks when the nightmare is not when you sleep, but begins only when you awake from the dream where your loved ones were okay, not dead, not gone from your life forever. Most people, no matter how grown and tough they think they are, need their mother sometimes. And what really bites is this is true even when our mothers are no longer here. And, As I have said a lot, Marsha and I were each other's crisis line, one half of the wonder twins. I would joke about being her stunt double in an action movie. Wonder Marsha crashes through a wall to save some trapped kid. For that brief moment busting through the wall, that would be me before the closeup cutting back to her. She's just a bit taller when smashing walls. We were close, she and I. And there have been way too many times I thought of calling her, only to realize she's no longer at the other end of that number. There are no words to express just how horrible this feels. I still miss my sister.
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