General Confusion Sir? This is Major Disaster sitting here or standing near with all my gear, waiting and I know why, to catch that eye just one more time. I miss that good queen who needed no jewels to shine. But then was then and now is now, and it's too late for me my son. I was once the great and powerful Oz. Pay no attention to that man, behind that curtain. Why? Because even I'm uncertain. All I know is that the time has come for the great Oz to embark on a great adventure and for for all good walruses and for all good carpenters to rally to the defense of their country: Fly, my pretties, fly. There will be nothing to stop us this time. V for victory. All for the glory, and for Alice, Queen of red, and Queen of white. Out on the chessboard with that backwards knight. Fight, fight fight until broad daylight. Wonderland's taking over tonight. Tell me what do I do when the time is gone but there's still ages, when the story is over but there's still pages? And then on the day after the day it was all over, does the show still go on? Tell me once more does the show really go on? Tell me because I need to know. Is the last one standing among the ruins, among the missing, truly the winner? Because, ladies and gentlemen, citizens of the Emerald City, People of Oz, denizens of wonderland, and loyal members of the mad tea party... If these are the rules of the game, then they are more confusing then a game of croquet that includes flamingos and hedgehogs. And what more can I say? Clean Cup move down! We've glitched out of the game, fell out of the story, between the pictures and the words, unsaid, unheard. It's sad to say there will be no more tales of glory. Imagine (if you will) a spaceship with thrusters but no landing gear. So long as it is on the ground near it can stay earthbound here, but what goes up can't come down here, can't turn around I fear, won't be found here. Like the wizard in his balloon, I wouldn't even try. Captain Kirk bravado to light up the sky clear to the stratosphere. Hey, I didn't make these rules, no, not I. I didn't decide these things, neither directly nor correctly. I can't quite speak to my own light, but name a shooting star that ever decided its own course through the night? Right? Outta sight. You can change my purpose, change my name, But I'm still me and the reason remains the same. You could put your dreams on a shelf, but you'll never escape yourself. The soul and the self like the song.... Remain.
Surly you've met some who have never been wrong in their life. Arguments with anyone who is right all the time, or never wrong, or says they're Napoleon Bonaparte.... Is a waste of time, energy, and sanity. Your desire to show them whatever light is no match for their determination to remain in whatever darkness. Someone who is never wrong will never be... At least in their own eyes... Step back, my friend and take a day off from teaching and let cold hard reality be the substitute teacher for the day. They're a mean one. Only the wise and the open minded know we are all teachers and we are all students, learning from one another. Ah, friendship... The eighth wonder of the world. Often imitated, rarely duplicated, and rarely initiated by me. For me, every genuine bond is a miracle and a treasure. Not everyone you see, meet, talk to, or even proclaims to be, can truly be counted as a genuine friend. Hold onto those who are real. There are some I truly miss. I find myself slowly coming out of autopilot mode... I could be on a sleeper ship, bound in deep hibernation, until I reach a distant planet, waking up in an unfamiliar place with everyone and everything I have ever loved a figment of the distant past. It kinda feels like that sometimes. Welcome to the future, space cadet. And between you (whoever you may be) and me, I am not a fan of this future. Science damn it. So much of my life seems to be just going through the motions. Once again, sleep was feeling way too wonderful to want to quit just yet. Time is relentless, though, especially those early hours. I think society has us running crazy in this unnatural trap of a treadmill. Night is for sleepy, day is for wakey. That's the way we were made, just not the way we actually live. I could drift away on a cloud for a thousand years. Sometimes, it's hard to separate these various flavors of fatigue, physical, mental, and spiritual. Sleep doesn't always help, but it is sure one beautiful escape sometimes. Sleep is the new party. Boogie down, baby, boogie down. It is amazingly unnerving just how quickly my life is passing me by, or that part of me would be quite willing to sleep the rest of this one away. The anticipated events of each day just don't inspire much enthusiasm for waking up. Just working, paying bills, and dealing with things I'd much rather forget. Next to that blissful fading away to a world of dreams, it seems to be a bit disappointing to wake up. Sometimes, I have even gotten visits there from the people I love. What does the waking world have to compare with that? Not only that, but I have often felt free of the confines of this body and of waking reality. One does not get unused to feeling free of them. Not when we are shown the vastness of the gulf between how things are and the way things should be. When a soul grows, it is hard to go back to the box of confinement, conformity, and category. I may be many things, but I am not a check-box. I am so much more. We can not go back to our old shells when we no longer fit. Therefore, here I am, just as uncertain as anyone else as to what I should do about it. Still, I've got to be myself in some way, form, or fashion. Otherwise, I'm going to lose my mind. Guess, I've got to find balance in the force, between holding back too much, or going too far, much too far. This may not be the 1940s and 50s of old style insane asylums, straight jackets and shock therapy, but even the present day stigma can be oppressive. Not everybody is so adept at putting themselves in another person's shoes, much less another's mind. Most of reality, what is real, are things we can all objectively agree on, but not everything. Just because it's all in your head does not make it any less real to you. It's not always that they see things or hear things... They feel and they perceive. Not that simply thinking you're Napoleon makes you Napoleon. If it did, there would be a lot of competition for the imperial throne of the French. Still, you can't completely separate reality from the mind that perceives it. The mind is the lens that colors our world. I'm talking about every mind that ever existed. I see, I hear, and I feel, all real things, no blue smurfs or green leprechauns. No being a super spy or having a best friend you thought you met in college but conjured him up there instead. Nope... I'm just a former surveyor and current forklift driver with a high school diploma and a vocational certificate. Bit of anxiety here. Bit of depression there... Maybe a touch of the post traumatic... Oh and one more thing, the one thing I have to leave between the lines, the one thing that weighs a bit heavier on me, more than mere perception, but my reality. Let me ask you this: If I were to say that I perceived myself in a slightly different way.... Who would be more likely to be correct? Am I more qualified or less qualified to define this particular soul because I just so happen to be that soul? Should I tell you who I am or should you tell me? Wouldn't I be more likely to know myself and therefore just who and what I am? I think we should all have our own definition. It's not about what we are but what we show. The choice is beyond who to be. Only how much we let them see. It is not creation, but observation of what has always been there. That is what so many can't (or won't) understand. And still, I don't want to get involved in all the insanity out there... Every time I make my way on this super disinformation highway I get bombarded by the insanity they try to sell me: Their products, their services, there politics and their religion. Man, I don't even want to be part of the discourse, much less part of any wars. No war for me, cultural or otherwise. Just leave me alone and let me be. Live, let live and leave alone. Make it mutual and that's my philosophy. It is a fairly big world, though for some, it's not big enough apparently. And sometimes there is just no going back.
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