Lyrical Anniversary Smackdown.
I may not be the real Slim Shady, But I'm gonna stand up and I'm gonna lay it down. And friends, it goes a little something like this: We all make mistakes. 26 years ago today, I made a whopper.... And I never worked for Burger King a day in my life. Even though once upon a lifetime ago, I let you have it your way.... If only to keep a fragile peace. And it took a long traverse through a hell on earth to say today, my way or the highway. But not you in any way, stay away. Happy Anniversary, you slime. Sooooo, how did it all work out for you? Did you improve your life by abandoning not only me, but three little children? With some help from people who actually cared, I managed to get them raised. Still, maybe I could've done better with some help from the other person responsible for bringing them into this world. You know, I can forgive what you did to me. Even a heart with the best of intentions can fail at perfection. I know I wasn't perfect, but I remember putting in my best effort, working the craziest of hours, leaving you the car and the checkbook, lunching on the cheap to provide these kids with a decently wonderful Christmas that year. What a SNAFU shitshow that turned out to be! And if all that wasn't enough to make me despise everything you turned out to be, there was all the times you feigned concern for these kids, just to get to me. Is this an empty accusation? Hell no. Our youngest is now 21 years old. Where the hell have you been since he turned 18? Nowhere. Why? Because you'd need no longer deal with me to want a relationship with him or his brothers. And don't say I made them despise you, too. I did nothing of the sort. I never once told my children what to think or how to feel. As Obiwan said to Anakin on Mustafar, You have done that yourself. See, they're not stupid, they're not blind to everything you've done. No, I did not make them hate you. You did that. You are even less of a mother than you ever were a wife. Do you really expect them to feel any other way? I did not keep you from them then, and I won't keep you from them now.... Unless they ask me to intervene. So, if you want to try to build a relationship with any of them, now is the time to get up off that ass and be a decent human being. Ha! You couldn't even fake being a decent person. It was only my stupid naivety, and thinking with the wrong damn brain that allowed me to fool myself oh so long ago. The only good thing that ever came from it was these three young men that are here today. I won't be hurtful to them by saying I wish I never met you. But I will say I wish I had made these boys in a lab with test tubes, beakers, a stack of Playboys, and some eggs from some dumb whore who sold them for beer money for her sleazy boyfriend. At least I would have started off with the knowledge I would have to be both mother and father to these children for the vast majority of their childhood. Maybe I could have been better prepared. I hear it all the time about deadbeat dads. And yes, they do exist. There is indeed good and bad in all buckets of humanity, whether you divide us by gender, race, or any other demographic. I also do not wish to downplay the great sacrifices a woman makes to bring life into this world. Still, biology did not make her love them more, nor does it make me love them less. I can't exactly help that I could not have carried my children, or have experienced the miracle of life within my body. But, damn, I wish with all my heart that I could have. I'm not saying it would be easy. I'm not one for pain, and morning sickness is a hell of a thing. Still, to carry a life within is a beautiful experience that a biological roll of the dice denied me. To have carried my children would have been consistent with basically being both mother and father to them for so much of their lives. Deadbeat mothers exist. I wish the world better understood this very fact. Just because you're not a man does not mean you can't be a shitty parent. Ten years married, sixteen years divorced and a single parent of three. It's been a long road, and I have lost many good people along the way. Oh and one terrible, back stabbing, low down, cheating, double dealing, lying, shitty excuse for both a woman and for a human being. Happy Anniversary, Scumbag. I hope you're proud of yourself. Life is short, you know. We're not getting any younger. I know without a doubt that in the day I may grow old and weak, My children will be by my side because I was with them when they needed their parents. Can you say the same? Whether you believe in Karma or not, you can certainly believe in consequences. Maybe you should consider mending your relationship with them. It may be like trying to reassemble ashes from a bridge long burned, but it is the only hope you have. You know, I hope we both live a long time. I want you to finally see how bad you messed up. I want you to see that these kids should have always been the most important part of our lives, no matter how things may have turned out between you and me. And I want to live long enough that you can never dare draw social security off of me. You have stolen your last damn penny ever generated by my many years of work. I swear I will live two hundred years before I let you touch a freaking dime. You have one last ghost of a chance to try and repair any semblance of a relationship with these three grown kids of ours. I do not know if it's possible at all. But if I were you (and thank the merciful universe I'm not) I would give it the 'ol special ed try. Just leave me out of it. I have no need, want, or desire to ever see or speak to you again, unless it's in Hell. And if so, I will be sitting on the red hot rock as far away from you as possible. Have a nice day. Oh, and happy fucking anniversary.
Elephants And Donkeys Again
How about a nice clean cup move down subject change, ladies and Gentlemen? What do ya say? Now that I've laid down a few words about one jackass in particular, how about I talk about more generic elephants and donkeys? C'mon, man! Let's get political. Ah, social media: What good is it for anymore? The politics and religion haven't even slowed down. The donkeys are whining. The elephants are gloating. And me? I just want them all to shut the hell up. Being I fall on different sides whether we're speaking foreign policy and social issues, or economics and my bottom line, you could say I both lost and won. Of course, you can't get very intellectual or philosophical when your cupboard is bare. (When Hubbard bent over, the government took over and proved they had a bone of their own) Of course, my own radical belief is that people should be able to make up their own minds. Give them proven facts and watch the miracle that young minds can be. No, there's not much else beyond religion and politics in the land of faces and books anymore. There is this one dude who feels the need to tag me in a hundred posts that don't have a damn thing to do with me. It seems my writings and my photography get buried amongst the noise. I really wonder if it's worth trying anymore. I guess I will. I mean, if I see anything beautiful, I will photograph and share. Mainly sunrises, flowers, and sunsets. And of course I will keep on writing because it is what I do. Words said are words said, even when speaking to an empty room. It at least reminds you that you still have a voice. And it's true: In space, no one can hear you scream, but that's what radios are for. Houston, we have a problem. Lieutenant Dan? Ah, but take heart. If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear, the Sierra Club is still gonna get annoyed, and the logging company is gonna be aggravated by the apparent lack of progress In short, it's hard to live in the middle when so many live in one extreme or the other. As Ricky Nelson learned at the garden party, you can't please everyone. It's quite lonely here in moderate land. And be it religion or radical thought in the other direction, folks should indoctrinate the children on their own time and on their own dime, not in school. No religion. No politics. Objective facts, not subjective opinions. Opinions should be the domain of the students, based on their own conclusions. No indoctrination of any kind. No radical left. No religious right. Bullshit should be a separate education. It is okay to have a world view. It is not okay to force it on others. Yep. It's a wasteland, devoid of any compromise, any understanding that not everybody's going to think a certain way. It's either think a certain way or you're Satan himself. Hell of a thing, isn't it? Freeze! Thought Police! Hands where I can see them! What's this? An original thought? How dare you stray from the party line! The Red police will call you a commie. The Blue police will call you a nazi. It doesn't matter if you're just an American just trying to survive a rotten economy. These days, sadly, in the eyes of many beholders, original thought might as well be original sin. That's how far we have fallen. How is my only choice between two extremes? It's just insane. And that's why I stayed home on election day. It doesn't matter to me whether they're a woman or a man. It doesn't matter whether their skin tone matches mine. My only question is, can they do the damn job? How do they differentiate themselves from the long string of failed policies of the current idiot. What are they going to do differently? See, back in the day, I didn't care who was "debriefing" President Clinton in the Whitehouse late at night, so long as the economy was roaring along. He's not the first president to be involved in that sort of thing. Hey, they call George Washington, the father of our country, right? Oh, and don't get me started on the Kennedy's and Marilyn Monroe. Bill was just the only one who got caught. I would imagine that the temptation and the influence must be super high. How high? "Hey, baby. I'm the leader of the free world. What do you think of Air Force One and the mile high club?" My point is my bottom line is my main concern. You can see how that might piss off a few people in social land, but my first concern is the ability to provide for myself and my family. When you mess with that by any means, you've lost me. Beyond that focus, I'll say this: You can't be a biological dude in women's sports and call it remotely fair or right. Besides, I never understood this whole transitioning and then getting into sports thing. Seems one would want to be involved in more feminine things. Really, dressing up, shopping, fun things like that. Magical Girl 9000! Why wouldn't someone who identifies that strongly wish to be emitting every bit of bright pink girly power as possible? It would just make sense for someone rejecting their given sex by being as absolutely girly as possible, rather than hypothetically tackling some poor girl on the 50-yard line. That would not make me feel pretty, now would it? Not at all! Let's consult the officials. (throws yellow flag) Penalty! Then again, I never really gave a damn about sports, anyway. But hey, that's just me. I am all about inclusion in many things, but one should be respectful and not force it on others. People have the right to be their true selves. People also have the right to be left the hell alone. And look, there are many things I understand more than most people will ever know. I understand well this need to be your true self, to see your own soul in the mirror. Nothing sucks worse then when they don't match. Still, you've gotta be respectful to that being you're trying to express. I'm not saying that you've got to 100% pass, but one should at least make the effort. I mean, really. What do you truly wish to be? A Marvel supervillain? A dollar store version of The Crow? A cross between Doctor Frankenfurther and Pennywise The Clown? I'm sorry, but walking into the ladies' room looking like Nutso The Clown in a dress with a goatee, ain't gonna make people like you very much. That's just gonna scare people. And scared people react in one of two ways: Flight or fight. With fathers, it's always fight. Either be serous or go home. Highlight and conceal. That's what makeup is for. Do not disespect the gender. Be the gender. Don't dream it. Be it. But do or do not. There is no try. Well, there's at least making a genuine effort and not being a creepo. Still, either you are or you are not. Do not hover. Do not harass. Mind your own damn business. And that should go for everyone in the room. Freedom really is a two-way street. Nobody should feel unsafe, and everyone should have a right to safety and privacy, no matter who they are. It may be a big world, but sometimes plenty of space is necessary to ensure the safety and privacy of everyone. Really, there should be at least one single occupancy restroom. I, myself, really don't like anyone being in the damn bathroom with me, women, men, or aliens from Uranus. Taking a crap should not be a spectator sport. Be you a king or be you a queen, you should be able to rule the throne alone and never be challenged while performing royal duties. See how my opinion would draw the ire of both extremes? Oh, but as Billy Mays used to say, I'm not done yet. Immigration. Now there's a fun topic. And here is my take: Americans are Americans, no matter their race. But there is a difference between Citizens and illegal aliens. How the hell is it racism to want to do something about the border? There are many American citizens of Latin descent. Why did so many of them vote the way they did? Because they're struggling just like the rest of us. Why should all their effort to have become citizens have been for nothing? They struggle with the higher cost of living and this messed up economy, just like many other citizens. They care just as much as the rest of us about safety, security, and prosperity. They are American citizens. It's not about race. It is about following the laws of this country. Geesh! It's time to stop the insanity. Let the illegals actually make the effort of becoming a citizen instead of just showing up and expecting resources that would otherwise go to our own struggling people. There should be a legal path that takes some effort but is achievable for anyone serious about becoming a citizen, not chaos in the border towns. And the parents really should be held accountable for putting their children in that situation, not the country they decided to show up in. Isn't that endangerment? Parents who are citizens here would certainly be in a heap of trouble, so why not those who aren't? There certainly is a double standard going on here. It's not racism to want a secure border. As I have said, Americans are Americans, no matter their race. Unfortunately, we can't fit the whole world here. You know, our own government is partly to blame. All this nation building didn't work. The whole idea of creating mini Americas around the world was a stupid thing to do. The people have to actually want a country in the first place. And they certainly don't want us over there, do they? And now it seems they want payback by nation building in our own backyard. It would be too much to fix their own problems back home. You know, I'd love to just parachute into a beautiful far away place and be declared a citizen upon landing. But, they would deport my butt back to the US of A in an instant. And if they speak a different language than what I know, would it be right for me to refuse to learn the lingo while expecting citizenship? They would most certainly boot me onto a plane back home. Now, why should it be any different when the situation is reversed? But if you stand up and say this is flat out wrong, then you get called a racist. I am for legal immigration all day long. Welcome home, new friends! In fact, the economy needs an inflow of fresh minds to be strong. But this uncontrolled mayhem has to stop. It simply has to. No, you can't exactly please everyone, can you. Just remember that the only time people resort to name calling us when they've hopelessly lost on the facts.
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